there's a will, I want to be in it.
argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with
thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you
hear them speak.
agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a
news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you
why it isn't.
ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On
my desk, I have a work station.
thought I wanted a career. It now turns out I just wanted wages.
I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency,
notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald
head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is
usually another woman.
conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike
and asked for forgiveness.
not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive
can't buy happiness but it makes misery easier to live with.
a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get
to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
never too old to learn something stupid.
sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage
makes you a car.
diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
look forward to the trip.
Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they
voices in my head may not be real but they come up with some good ideas.
take life with a grain of salt; plus a slice of lemon and a shot of
tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Brigade usually