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Insurance Claim Forms

Page updated - 04 March 2006


True extracts from insurance claim forms

A - I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

A - I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

A - I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

A - On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

A - I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

A - I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight

A - I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

A - First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.

A - Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

A - The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.

A - I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

A - I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.


A - Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.


A - The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

A - I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't when I put my head through it.

A - I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A - A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A - A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

A - The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

A - In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

A - I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

A - I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

A - To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian.

A - My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

A - An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

A - I am sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

A - The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

A - I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the roof of my car.

A - The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

A - I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.